The OG Novelty Seekers
Do you have a long list of projects and career paths left abandoned? Maybe you’ve a few dead hobbies that you’re trying to hide away in a corner of your home?
Our ADHD brains are interest based. We are the OG novelty seekers, intoxicated by the rush of dopamine that each sparkly new idea/hobby/career brings.
People with ADHD often have the most wonderful, creative ideas. Dare I say sometimes too many?
It’s our unique gift, our mission. We are pattern finders, connectors and think-outside-the-box-ers. When the ideas hit, dopamine locks on and we feel invincible. It’s why we’re able to hyper-focus for 6 hours straight without food, water or toilet breaks.
Sadly. Once the novelty wears off and the reality of having to actually maintain our grand ideas creep in, we jump ship, or to the next sparkly idea.
There’s a term for this. Motivational decay.
Eventually dopamine stops firing and the honeymoon is over, the fallout of motivational decay can leave us feeling ashamed, burnt out and if there’s a hobby involved, probably skint.
Consistency is key.
We find it much harder than our neurotypical friends to be consistent but the rewards for being persistent are immense. Here’s why.
We finish a task that creates a small win which produces dopamine. Dopamine tells our brains to create stronger pathways and builds motivation. Eventually each small task feels a bit less laborious and dopamine starts firing when you think of doing the task, not just after the task.
But do you need to finish every project?
Once the novelty vanishes with the dopamine, do you shudder at the thought of continuing with it?
ADHDers feel intensely, and that unbearable feeling could be your nervous system speaking to you, which can make it really hard to refocus your attention back to the task. On the occasions where you try to push through, you could risk burnout. Maybe because you’ve too much going on in your life or maybe the idea doesn’t align with your values or strengths. Once you figure out whether it's burnout or a values mismatch, you're in a much better position to move forward.
Is your idea aligning with your values?
If it’s a no, maybe it’s time to accept you’ve come to the end of the road. Try not to beat yourself up about it, think of what positives came from the time you spent on it. Instead of “I’m a failure because I gave up again” focus on “I may not have completed what I wanted, but I got to learn new skills”. It means you’re rewiring your brain for resilience and self-compassion.
If it’s a yes. How can you create a system that works for that beautiful brain of yours? This will look different for everyone. It means trial and error and looking at what has and hasn’t worked for you in the past (coaching is great way to explore this).
Keep in mind that setting rigid goals can be counter productive - deepening motivational decay. Instead think fluidity, adaptation and reassessing. We want to eliminate that shitty little voice that tells us we’re a failure.
Here are some strategies that could give you a chance of finishing your idea/project. Maybe you’re already doing some of them without realising it.
Micro-tasking: Breaking a task down into the smallest possible steps to reduce overwhelm and boost dopamine/motivation.
Keeping your idea in view: Out of sight really is out of mind for people with ADHD.
Body doubling: Working alongside someone else in person or virtually. (A particular favourite of mine. I offer free body doubling sessions every Tuesday. DM me for details).
Tracking progress: Helps you to take a step back to see how far you’ve come
Gamification: Turns tasks into a games for rewards.
Working with your menstrual cycle: Because some weeks may be more productive than others. This may require some cycle tracking.
Seeking the novelty along with an abundance of creative ideas AND inconsistency is a real ADHD struggle. Throw motherhood into the mix then you’re adding an extra layer of difficulty. But if you can retrain your brain by using strategies that specifically work for you, to help you to become more consistent, then the rewards you reap will be so worth the extra effort.
Lou
If you’re curious about working together, I offer one-to-one coaching helping mums manage the chaos of ADHD life, as well as building sustainable creative practices for wellbeing. You can find out more here.
I also offer FREE body doubling sessions every Tuesday 12pm-2pm GMT via zoom. Body doubling is the OG of accountability. We’d love you to join our growing community. Please DM me to find out more.
Everything I share here comes from my own lived experience and personal research as a neurodivergent woman, mother and ADHD coach. While I am happy to support you within my scope of practice, I am not a medical professional or therapist, and nothing in this article constitutes medical or therapeutic advice.
This space welcomes all mothers, biological, adoptive, step, foster, and every variation in between. Some content will specifically address experiences of those assigned female at birth (such as menstrual cycles, perimenopause and menopause).